Marco Rubio.
I don't get it.
I just saw an online article in the New York Times saying Hillary is afraid of Marco Rubio. Wouldn't let me read the article. Had to subscribe first. I guess I wasted all my free views sneering at David Brooks and Tom Friedman (as well as admiring Paul Krugman). Which of course begs the question: Why should I spend money on a newspaper that takes Marco Rubio seriously? Or take my hometown paper, the Tampa Bay Times, gleefully pushing coverage of "Jebio" ignoring the fact that Rubio has absolutely no qualifications to be President. I guess I'm supposed to cheer out of some blind loyalty for my fellow Floridian.
Or maybe I missed something. Is there really something great and hidden in Marco Rubio's past? I thought I'd start on his Wikipedia Page, which I'm sure his minions are monitoring. We start out with the fact that Rubio lied about his parents being refugees from Castro, as they came here from Cuba in 1956, three years before the revolution. He graduated from the University of Florida and University of Miami School of Law, where he interned for Congresswoman Ileana Ros- Lehtinen. He was elected City Commissioner in the Town of West Miami. He got himself elected to the Florida House in a 1999 special election.
Now here's where it helps to be a Floridian to read between the lines and cut through all the bullshit. Wikipedia says that he was selected to be House Majority by House Speaker Johnnie Byrd. Sounds impressive, unless you understand that Johnnie Byrd was a typical right wing extremist. who spent most of his time trying to jam through a hospital for Alzheimer's disease named after his father. He succeeded.
Again it helps to be a Floridian to understand how the Florida House operates. It has 120 members. these members can only serve 4 terms for a total of 8 years. As a result, it is a gaggle of ambitious politicians with very little experience in running a complex state like Florida. Lobbyists, who are not term limited, run the joint. If a new House member is not to get lost in the shuffle, he must do 2 things: 1. Kiss the asses of the lobbyists who are the real power brokers and 2.Find the right ass to kiss within the House power structure. Marco Rubio did both. Thanks to the above mentioned Johnnie Byrd, Our Marco was plucked out of obscurity and sent on a rocket ride to Republican Saviorhood. Peachy.
Once Majority Leader, Rubio automatically became Speaker next term. Why? Because that's how they do things here in Florida. The future Speaker is known years in advance. Helps the lobbyists keep control. The Florida Legislature is known to be bought and paid for by the special interests. Lobbyists are notorious for writing bills. Legislators are notorious for not READING bills, especially during the chaotic last days of a session, when lobbyists sneak in budgetary items that nobody finds out about until the budget is signed by the governor, where they explode like little bombs. After all, legislators are not their to serve the public, or God-forbid, THINK. They are there to do what they are told, and to just cash the lobbyists checks. So this is the House that Marco Rubio presided over. Florida Legislature? Florida Whorehouse is more like it.
So, did our Marco Clean Up The Mess in Tallahassee? Not quite. In fact Rubio added a sizable turd to an already stinking punch bowl. While Speaker, Rubio had access to an American Express card provided by the Florida Republican Party, He used this to pay for thousands of dollars of purely personal expenses, including groceries, vacation expenses, and payments to a personal property manager among other things, which the party duly paid off. After these charges came to light, Rubio reimbursed the party of about $16,000. Estimates of improper usage range as high as $100,000. Rubio apologists blame all this on "clerical errors" and claim that the fact he made restitution gets him off the hook. Here's the problem we should have with this. Using campaign contributions for personal use is a CRIME. If Rubio used funds from his own campaign coffers to pay for groceries at Publix, for example, he would have been subject to CRIMINAL charges. How is this any different? Rubio used the card to pay for totally personal expenses, knowing full well that the Republican Party would pay for them with contributions that the party raised. That's exactly what happened. Thanks to a nifty bit of laundering the money through the Party credit card, Rubio avoids criminal prosecution. And don't give me the line that Rubio's restitution after the fact gets him off the hook. Any prosecutor worth his salt can tell you that restitution is part of the PUNISHMENT for the crime. It does NOT get you off the hook. Rubio is quite fond of pointing out the moral failings of other people for political gain. He does not deserve to get off the hook for his quasi criminal behavior. As any observer of the political scene can tell you, its the legal corruption that is killing us.
So, did our hero just shamefully ride off into the political sunset? Hell No! This is Florida. You run for the Senate! Here's where Marco gets a double dose of good luck. First, Charlie Crist commits political suicide my switching from the Governor to Senate race. Second, Marco picks 2010 to run. The Great Tea Party Wave Year. Give Marco credit, the dude sure can ride a wave. So in the primary, Marco becomes the Tea Party Darling and scares Crist into running as an Independent. Then he crushes Bill McCollum in the primary, well, because the Tea Partiers were mad, mad, MAD. Mindlessly mad. Totally Mad. Mad at McCollum despite 30 years of a perfectly conservative record. So lets dump him! Marco's our guy! Or at least the flavor of the day at exactly the right time. Off to the general election where the opposition is split because of Crist's hissy fit. Final Score: Marco 50 percent , Crist 30%, Meek 20%. A one time perfect storm, and Marco Rubio is in the Senate.
Then another piece of good luck. Obama beats Romney in 2012. Changing demographics get part of the blame. The Hispanic vote is soaring and they all are voting Democratic! What are we to do? The party desperately searches for a Hispanic face, and look who's there? Marco Rubio goes from being the Accidental Senator to the Republican Savior! Marco immediately starts running for Prez and earns the worst attendance record in the Senate. So what? Saviors don't have to be there for stupid quorum calls.
On and on it goes, like some bad episode of Being There. Because he is The Republican Savior, the Very Important People who decide these things put him into the "First Tier". Then Jeb! crashes into an iceberg on Iraq. Scott Walker increasingly looks like a hothouse flower that can't exist outside Wisconsin. The GOP Clown Car starts looking like a mobile insane asylum. Who's left? Just ask The Paper Of Record. Hillary is scared!!
Pardon me if I don't get excited. If there is one thread running through Marco Rubio's career and thought pattern, it is childishness. Take his recent foreign policy speech. If Teddy Roosevelt told us to speak softly and carry a big stick, Marco Rubio wants to scream like a baby and swing the stick wildly. Use force anywhere and any time you feel like it ! We are still the world's badasses and we will attack and invade any time we want! USA! USA! USA!. War wimps like Rubio have no problem sending other people's kids into battle and then look the other way when they come home broken or in a box. Act like you are the biggest bully in the junior high locker room. Then act surprised when your victims are sick of getting picked on and actually fire back. Then you can blame it on "bad intelligence" or something. Anything but you own childish incompetence. Again and again we follow these two bit charlatans into war, Again and again we waste trillions of dollars. Again and again the butchers bill is heartbreaking. Again and again, the world is left a more dangerous place. If Marco Rubio is elected president, you can probably guarantee three things. One , many young lives will be ruined and none of them will be named Marco Rubio. Two, when it comes time to man up for the mistakes, Baby Marco will be blaming someone else. Three, the skids for America's decline will continue to be greased.
Marco Rubio exhibits the same childishness when it comes to matters of religion. He states that legalizing gay marriage persecutes Christians. This is nothing more than pandering to people who feel that faith in Jesus should relieve you of your suffering. That faith in Jesus is nothing more then to get what you want on earth. Never mind that the gays that have been the victims of Rubio-style ignorance are the ones doing the suffering. Never mind that what Rubio is really moaning about is the loss of power to treat the whole world like the halls of some demented high school. Jesus did not come to earth to relieve mankind, and especially Republican primary voters, of their suffering. No, His presence on Earth is to give Christians the strength to transcend suffering so you can love your neighbor and bring Christ's kingdom to Earth. Yep, Marco knows his audience. Mature Christianity goes right over their heads. No, Marco panders to a childish Christianity that says you do not have to suffer at all. The Rapture is coming and you can avoid tribulation! All that suffering will be left to Obama and the gays and all the other icky people Left Behind. In Rubio-land Christianity is not about a Suffering Servant who died on the Cross for the sins of mankind. It is merely a club that you join to avoid adult responsibilities to your fellow man.
At least Marco Rubio learned first hand the benefits of immigration. At least he could show some adult leadership here, right? Uh, wrong. Turns out them Tea Partiers don't like all them brown people heading to "Murica. A perfect opportunity for Marco Rubio to stand up on principle on something near and dear to his heart, right? Instead , Little Marco caves in to the schoolyard bullies in his party. I guess the trip to the Ultimate Playpen in Washington requires Little Marco to desperately try to hide who he is. What a man.
So the cat is out of the bag. The GOP Clown Car is just a Kiddie Car and Marco Rubio is just one of the kids. Will Americans call him out on this, even if the Lamestream Media won't? The answer will depend on if we in America have degenerated into nothing but a giant playpen, or if we still have the gumption to act like adults.
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